What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Randomize
