the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
