At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
