we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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