you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize