Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
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