I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
