I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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