Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
