your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
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