I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
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