I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
