why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
