But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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