winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
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She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
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I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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