Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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