Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
