I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
