How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Randomize
