Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
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