Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
