Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Me. At least after what I've been through.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
