Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize