im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
So much Jack, so little girl.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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