Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
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