Just mADE A PArabola og urine
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
