I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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