You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I will pee on everything he values.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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