i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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