I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
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