i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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