Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
