butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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