I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
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