put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
