as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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