I like to think it a success when the cops are called
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Randomize
