Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
