How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
