i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize
