just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
