so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
