these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
