Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Randomize
