I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
don't judge my taste in strippers
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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