I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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