so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
