You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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