Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
