Buhtt sex?
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
