were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Be still, my beating vagina.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
