sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
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