I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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