She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
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