Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
he shaved USA in his pubs
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
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