I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
