This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
