it wasn't lemon gatorade
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
