We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
