How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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