Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
