over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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