'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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