Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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