After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
My vagina is very pro this idea
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
