The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
